Friday, August 21, 2009

How to Create A Board From Hell

From the 1991 Susan Scribner volume "Boards from Hell", and used in yesterday's CRC training 'Dynamic Boards' in Washington County (Akron, CO).

YES, you too can build your own 'Board from Hell'. It's easy. Just follow these simple steps and within months (or even weeks) you will get results!

1. Never explain the job thoroughly to anyone joining your Board.

2. Don't force Board members to participate in training or orientation.

3. Be sure to schedule Board meetings at different times each month so that no one will start to count on them; or, schedule them one at a time at the end of each meeting. Better yet, don't schedule them at all; just wait until you have a big emergency.

4. Never have a quorum. Just go ahead and meet anyway.

5. Always elect someone to chair a committee (or your Board) who is absent from the meeting.

6. Don't enforce terms of office.

7. Diversity be damned. Elect all your friends so that no one will question what you do.

8. By all means, never let your staff get to know your Board.

9. Among Board members, do not encourage: a) openness, b) respect for others' opinions, c) sharing of new ideas.

10. Never provide social opportunities for your Board. Don't even THINK about thanking them.

11. Do not share information with Board members before the meetings.

12. Don't bother with committees. Let the whole Board discuss everything to death.

13. When Board members question issues of policy or financial matters just tell them "it's under control" and "not to worry".

14. Never put anything in writing. They may think you mean it.

Hope you enjoy this Friday morning humor from CRC!

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